it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize