You're my little dorito
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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