I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
