how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
