I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
