They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Randomize
