Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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