Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize