I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
