I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
