girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
