this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
