I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
