even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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