college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
