Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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