he thought i was a dude.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
