I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
