I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
