He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
