If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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