TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
