So drunk, too bad you don't want this
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
