Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
