You can't motorboat a personality
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
