I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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