He disabled his match.com account in front of me
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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