When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
