marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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