I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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