hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
