Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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