even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
