i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
