I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
