So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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