he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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