'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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