Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
