I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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