i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
