Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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