i don't like sucking hair
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
