omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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