Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
