Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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