Christians are straight up FREAKS
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
