i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
