He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
