before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
