Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
