he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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