hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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